By: David G. Phillips

I learned so much about development from my Mamma. She always worked hard to teach me to be gracious, friendly and polite. She and Daddy always felt the social graces were at least as important as reading, writing and arithmetic. “At least your neighbors may find you tolerable,” my Daddy would say. I hope my Mamma and Daddy are pleased.

Much of what we do in institutional advancement or development is to make friends for our organization and to take good care of the friends we already have. It is a daily challenge to ensure that people get the very best of whatever it is we do through our non-profit agency or our charitable organization. In some instances, like a hospital, a cultural organization or an educational institution, there is a tangible service you provide which is somewhat measurable and quantifiable. In other organizations, the service is not quite so visible.

As I think about the qualities that comprise a good advancement officer, I think about a person with whom others enjoy being. When you read the classified ads seeking development professionals (and this could include many other professions too), perhaps it’s the things they do not list as characteristics that may be the most important. They ask for so many years of employment experience, so much proper schooling, the ability to articulate your thoughts through writing and speaking clearly, ability to work with others, and other technical skills, but the most important things are not listed.

What are some of the most important things? Mostly things related to good manners and social skills, including:

• Valuing honesty, integrity and fidelity to yourself, your family and your institution
  
  
• Having a commitment to succeed and the determination to work tirelessly to help your organization achieve its mission and reach and exceed its goals
  
  
• Knowing how and why to say please, thank you and to otherwise be respectful
  
  
• Willing to extend your hand in genuine friendship
  
  
• Making others feel at ease
  
  
• Having good table manners
  
  
• Showing concern for the other person’s feelings and comfort
  
  
• Having good listening skills
  
  
• Knowing to thank your host at parties and to write a quick thank you note to boot
  
  
• Knowing how to make other people feel good, especially when they are new to the community or circumstances
  
  
• Understanding when it is appropriate to speak and when you should remain silent
  
  
• Caring enough to learn the proper protocol for the situation—whatever it is
  
  
• Showing genuine interest in the other person’s thoughts
  
  
• Knowing how to graciously express your gratitude and that of the institution you represent through your written and spoken words and your actions
  
  
• Understanding that charm and flattery are much preferable to the truth
  
  
• Representing your organization to the best of your ability and to always present it, and yourself in the most favorable light possible
  
  
• Making the best of every situation and being upbeat
  
  
• Understanding the value of positive thinking and a determination to apply these principles to all that you do
  
  
• Creating the conditions for the growth and success of yourself and your organization.

Is it any wonder that people have such a hard time finding the perfect match for their advancement officers and development professionals when so many of the qualifications they need are not in their ads, but are simply hoped for characteristics? Perhaps the best ad would read: “Highly intelligent, attractive, super sophisticated and well-educated person with impeccable socials skills and the ability to articulate the mission of our world class institution and who is altruistic enough to be willing to work for peanuts.”

I can teach a person that they should ask for a gift, and I can teach them that they ought to write a thank you note, but I cannot teach them to ask for the gift effectively or to write a quality thank you note if they are not articulate from the beginning. Hence, the classified ads look for educated and experienced people.

If you want the very best development professionals in your operation, seek only that special group of people who have both assimilated the proper social skills and learned how to read, write and do arithmetic. Then drill them in the practice of developing friendship, asking for money, and showing proper appreciation to donors. They can learn to cultivate donors. If they have not yet cultivated the proper social skills in themselves by the time they are old enough to consider a career in fundraising or development, they have little chance of ever doing so.

David G. Phillips is president of Custom Development Solutions, Inc. (CDS). CDS has become one of North America's best and most sought after fundraising consulting firms specializing in the strategic planning and tactical execution of capital campaigns for non-profits throughout the United States and Canada. More information on CDS can be found on the web at www.cdsfunds.com. If you have a fundraising question for David, please call 800-761-3833 or send an email to dgp@cdsfunds.com.